How to Write an Obituary That Feels Like Them
Practical support and meaningful ways to honor someone’s life in words
If you're here, you're probably trying to write about someone you love — and it feels impossible to do them justice.
Maybe you’ve never written anything like this before. Maybe you're worried you’ll forget something important. Or maybe you're just overwhelmed, staring at a blank page.
You’re not alone. Writing an obituary doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to feel like them.
What an Obituary Is (and Isn’t)
Most people think an obituary has to follow a formal template or include every major life event. But here’s the truth:
You don’t need to write their whole story. You just need to reflect the parts that mattered most.
A meaningful obituary should:
Share who they were, not just what they did
Name a few relationships or roles that defined their life
Mention values, quirks, routines, or things they loved
Help others feel like they knew them — even just for a moment
Where to Start
You can begin with the basics:
Full name (and any nicknames)
Age and date of passing
Where they lived
Close family or loved ones
But what matters most is what comes after:
What did they love?
What did they always say?
What made people smile when they were around?
You Don’t Have to Follow a Formal Template
Here’s the difference between a traditional obituary and one that feels personal:
Traditional:
“John was preceded in death by his parents and survived by his wife and children. He enjoyed fishing and watching football.”
More personal:
“John loved quiet mornings with black coffee, Sunday football, and telling stories that made people laugh. He was the kind of dad who always answered the phone, no matter what.”
Both are technically fine. But only one sounds like a real person.
A Few Prompts to Try
If you’re stuck, try filling in one of these:
“One thing everyone knew about them was…”
“If they were here today, they’d probably be…”
“They had a way of making people feel…”
“What I’ll always remember is…”
You don’t have to cover everything. One or two honest details can say more than a list of accomplishments.
Common Details to Include (If It Feels Right)
If you’re writing for a service, memorial site, or newspaper, these may help:
Full name + nickname
Date of birth and date of passing
City and state of residence
Career or service (optional)
Hobbies, passions, causes
Surviving family
Service details (date, time, location)
Donation or tribute info (if applicable)
You can leave things out. Only include what feels right for you — and for them.
Final Thoughts
This isn’t about getting every word right. It’s about offering a glimpse of who they were — and what they meant to you.
If the words still won’t come, we can help.
Need Support?
We offer Legacy & Tribute Writing services for obituaries, eulogies, and memorial messages.
Whether you're starting from scratch or refining a draft, we’re here to help shape something real — with clarity, care, and compassion.
You don’t have to do this alone.