How to Plan a Memorial from Another State (or Time Zone)
Because honoring someone shouldn’t depend on where you live
When someone close to you passes, the last thing you expect is to be coordinating from hundreds (or thousands) of miles away. But for many adult children, extended family members, or long-distance friends, that’s exactly the reality.
You might be…
Across the country with limited PTO.
Managing logistics with siblings in multiple time zones.
Trying to plan something meaningful while navigating grief, guilt, and group texts.
It’s not easy — but it’s possible.
Here’s how to plan a beautiful memorial from afar without burning out or losing your voice in the process.
1. Ground the Basics: Pick the What, When, and Who
Start with the essential framework:
What type of memorial? (Celebration of life, backyard service, religious ceremony, virtual event)
When will it take place? (Choose a date that gives everyone time to gather or tune in)
Who’s involved? (Assign 1–2 trusted local helpers if possible — boots on the ground matter)
Tip: Pick your three non-negotiables and let the rest stay flexible.
2. Choose One Person to Lead (It Might Be You)
Memorial planning by committee can quickly spiral. If you're the one holding the thread — embrace the role. That doesn't mean doing everything yourself, but it does mean:
Calling key decisions
Creating a shared document or checklist
Communicating the plan clearly
Being “the point person” from a distance requires calm leadership — not perfection.
3. Lean on Tools Built for Remote Planning
Distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection. Use tech to your advantage:
Shared Google Docs for timelines, music, photo uploads, and readings
Group chats with clear channels (ex: planning vs. memory sharing)
Zoom / FaceTime for walkthroughs and connection
Dropbox or Drive to gather images for a slideshow
Bonus tip: Use voice memos to communicate tone — it softens misunderstandings better than text.
4. Outsource What’s Draining You
You don’t have to DIY every detail. If certain pieces are adding more stress than meaning, it’s okay to ask for help — or hire it:
Visual tributes and photo slideshows
Obituary writing or ceremony copy
Memorial planning guidance
Done-for-you support can make the difference between “just getting through it” and actually honoring them.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve — Even From Afar
You might feel guilt for not being physically present, or for delegating more than you wanted to. That’s normal. What matters most is how you show up emotionally — not logistically.
Connection doesn’t require a plane ticket. Your presence, your words, your care — those are what people remember.
Need Help from a Distance?
You don’t have to plan the entire memorial on your own — especially from miles away.
If you’re coordinating with family across time zones or feeling overwhelmed by the details, a Memorial Mapping session can help you get clear on what matters, what’s possible, and where to begin.
And if you'd prefer full support shaping the day — from the order of events to what’s said and shared — explore our Custom Memorial Plan. It’s designed to take the pressure off, so you can focus on what really matters: honoring someone you love.