3 Common Roadblocks in Planning a Celebration of Life (and How to Move Past Them)
Planning a celebration of life can feel overwhelming. You want the day to honor your loved one, but grief and logistics collide, and suddenly even simple choices feel impossible.
When my mom passed, my family was fortunate to know her wishes for cremation and the type of funeral she wanted — small and private. But we also wanted to celebrate her life, the person she was, and express all the words we didn’t get to say. From out of state, I worked with my siblings to think through guests, ease of travel, the reception she would have enjoyed, accessibility, and space for everyone to share stories. It turned out beautifully because it reflected her completely.
Since then, I’ve spoken with many people who didn’t know their options — or who felt like the funeral industry treated their grief as a sales process. I’ve experienced that side, too. When my family worked with a funeral home planner, the process was underwhelming, the sticker shock wasn’t handled with compassion, and the visual tribute deliverables were less than meaningful. A friend who works in pre-planning at a local funeral home later confirmed what I already suspected: the traditional path can be costly and impersonal.
That’s exactly why I believe families deserve more clarity, care, and support — without the upsell. Here are three common roadblocks in planning a celebration of life, and how to move past them.
Roadblock 1: Not Knowing Where to Start
Most families freeze when staring at a blank page. Do you book a venue? Start scanning photos? Write the eulogy first? Without a framework, every task feels urgent.
How to move past it: Set one anchor decision first. Choose either:
Tone: quiet reflection or joyful storytelling
Structure: set order vs. open flow
Meaningful moment: a song, reading, or ritual that matters most
Once you set an anchor, the rest of the pieces fall into place more easily.
Roadblock 2: Too Many Opinions
Siblings, extended family, and close friends may all want different things. Conflict or indecision can slow everything down.
How to move past it: Agree on 2–3 nonnegotiables. For example:
“We want everyone to share stories.”
“We want her favorite music played.”
“We want to include a memory table.”
Once anchors are set, smaller details feel less contentious. Sometimes, having a neutral guide helps ease these conversations.
Roadblock 3: Feeling Like It Has to Be Perfect
Many families put pressure on themselves to get everything “just right.” That pressure can lead to stress, decision paralysis, or overspending.
How to move past it: Focus on meaning over perfection. My family planned from different states, and it still came together beautifully because it felt authentic to my mom — not flawless. What mattered most were the connections, the stories, and the chance to honor her life.
Moving Forward With Clarity
Every family hits these roadblocks, and they’re completely normal. Knowing what to expect — and how to shift past it — can make the process less overwhelming.
This is why I created The Unfinished List. Families deserve support that’s clear, compassionate, and free of unnecessary upsell. Whether you’re just beginning or already in the middle of planning, there are ways to create a day that feels true to your loved one without carrying it all alone.
Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to feel less overwhelmed. That’s what a Memorial Mapping Session is for — a focused time to outline structure, tone, and meaningful moments so you leave with a clear plan that reflects your loved one and feels manageable for you.