Funeral or Celebration of Life? Understanding Your Options
When someone you love passes, it can feel like you’re swept into a process you didn’t choose. Funeral homes often present set packages, and the pressure to decide quickly can be overwhelming.
But you do have options. More families today are looking beyond traditional services to design memorial experiences that reflect the story of the person they loved — not the limits of a package.
At The Unfinished List, we believe a memorial should feel personal, meaningful, and doable. Here are some approaches to consider:
The Traditional Funeral
Best for: Families who want something familiar and structured.
Looks like: A service led by a clergy member or officiant, usually at a funeral home or church.
Considerations: Often comes with higher costs and set formats. It can feel impersonal if the service doesn’t fully reflect who they were.
A Celebration of Life
Best for: Families who want to highlight stories, laughter, and the unique details of a life well lived.
Looks like: Gathering in a park, home, or rented space. Sharing memories, favorite songs, a slideshow, or even their favorite food.
Considerations: Flexible and personal, but can feel overwhelming to design when you’re already grieving.
Hybrid Approaches
Best for: Families spread across locations, or those who want a balance of tradition and storytelling.
Looks like: A service at a funeral home or church, paired with a more relaxed gathering later. Or an in-person memorial paired with a livestream for those far away.
Considerations: Offers inclusivity and choice, but requires coordination to feel seamless.
Why Families Look for Alternatives
Traditional funeral packages can feel:
Expensive – bundled services you may not need.
Generic – the same order, the same script, no matter the person.
Overwhelming – dozens of decisions, made quickly, while you’re grieving.
Families often tell us they wish they’d known they had other options — ways to plan a memorial that feels more personal, flexible, and meaningful.
When we planned my mother’s service, we combined a few traditions she wanted with experiences she deserved. We held a church service, gathered with friends at a restaurant, and later spread her ashes along the California coast as she requested.
That’s the beauty of a memorial: it can be both traditional and personal.
And this is why The Unfinished List exists — to design experiences that reflect the person, not a package.
For the lists you didn’t expect to make, we help turn them into meaningful plans.
A Clear First Step
Instead of rushing into contracts, start with clarity.
In our Memorial Mapping Session, we focus on three essentials:
Structure – will the event follow a set order (welcome → readings → music → stories) or be more open and conversational?
Tone – will it feel like a quiet reflection, a joyful storytelling circle, or a blend of both?
Key details – what 2–3 moments matter most, like a favorite song, a shared recipe, or a memory table?
With that framework in place, the rest of your planning becomes easier and more intentional.
Making It Personal With a Tribute
Another powerful place to begin is with a Visual Tribute Package. Photos, music, and even personal audio clips come together in a slideshow or keepsake that captures their story.
You can share it during the service, send it to loved ones far away, or keep it as a lasting memory. Because each tribute is custom-built, it feels personal — never generic.
Why This Matters
A celebration of life is more than an event. It’s the story of who they were. Starting with a plan — and weaving in a personal tribute — allows you to focus on being present, instead of being buried in logistics.
This is exactly why The Unfinished List exists: to move families from overwhelm to clarity by designing memorial experiences that feel personal, not packaged